Apr162012

Guardianship- What it means?

By Kirsten on April 16, 2012

A lovely friend of mine had an experience recently where someone man handled her dog.  She could see clearly that the dog was becoming stressed and spoke up for her dog.  Perhaps this other person was offended, perhaps they felt slighted or thought my friend was rude.  Could be, but it also doesn’t matter what they thought.

What matters is that this wonderful, caring, thoughtful guardian spoke up for her dog.  She upheld her end of the human-canine bond.

This is what I said to this grand and beautiful friend “Never apologize for being a guardian for your dog.  We owe them a duty of care and we should always extend this duty in every situation. It was your duty to look out for and protect your dog and you upheld your duty.  Well done.  Many people don’t want to offend another person and so they will allow things to be done to their pet that both they and their dog are uncomfortable with.  This is very clear when it comes to what people will allow vets and trainers to do to their dogs because they view these people as professionals and/or experts.  No matter who it is, or what they are saying or doing, you have a right and as I said a duty as well as a moral obligation to step in if there is harm or discomfort from either your own perspective and very importantly the animal’s perspective.”

Here’s what Oxford says a guardian is – “Protector, keeper, person having legal custody over another esp. a minor”

The first part of the definition is protector. Guardianship means understanding when your dog is uncomfortable and changing the situation or managing it until you can help or aid your dog through training to be more comfortable.  It means standing up when you instinctively know that a person, whether it be someone you consider to be a professional or expert is doing something you inherently disagree with whether it be a style of training to how your dog is being petted or approached.

Now there are times when a vet will need to do some things to your dog that your dog is not going to like for example taking a blood sample. In those cases this is a necessary “evil” so to speak.  You can’t just simply say to the vet “my dog doesn’t like this so stop”, especially if your dog is ill and this is a diagnostic neccessity. You can make things go a whole lot more smoothly at the vet’s office by taking your dog there from puppyhood and having the vet and techs just give out treats and affection, as well as feed your dog super high value food when the blood is being drawn.

What I am talking about though is things like the infamous, unnecessary and dangerous “Alpha Roll” whereby a dog is pinned on it’s back for a supposed infraction, the unwanted petting from a stranger, manhandling by a photographer or inappropriate actions that children often inflict upon a dog.  These things you can and should stand up and say NO to when it comes to your dog, without remorse, without guilt.

Guardianship is about respect, about caring, about protection, about doing the best for your pet, about being strong, about being humane and about being human, it is about holding up our end of the bargin in the human-canine bond.

You did just fine my friend :)

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Apr092012

Behaviour Adjustment Training (BAT) – Dog Training Calgary

By Kirsten on April 9, 2012

Dog barking, lunging, growling every time they see another dog or person, especially on leash.  This is a common situation for many dogs in Calgary and it is on the increase.  For over 10 years I have run a reactive dog training class. It used to be that these classes ran every couple of months as it usually took that long to fill a class, now however there are classes springing up everywhere and they fill the minute they are open for registration.  This is actually not a good thing. It would be far better if the basics classes and puppy classes were the only ones to fill that quickly.  That would mean that the majority of dogs were well adjusted, happy, confident dogs who needed to bring their people to class for a little polishing up on canine communication skills.  The reactive dog class is a whole other story and it’s a difficult one.  People with reactive dogs are struggling to help their much beloved pets fit into a world that the dog feels is unsafe.  It is challenging, frustrating, emotionally draining, confusing and heart breaking for these people who truly love their dogs.

When looking for a class for you and your reactive dog, take care to review the experience of the trainers, not only in length of time in the field and with reactive canine behaviour but also the techniques used.  In spite of how scary and aggressive looking the reactive behaviour is, it is almost always based in fear. You cannot reduce aggression with aggression, you cannot change an aggressive behaviour by responding in kind, you cannot make a dog less fearful by causing them more fear and pain. By using techniques that make a positive association with the person or other dog that they find frightening and learning positive management tools you can see tremendous changes in your dog’s behaviour.

Let me how the scary, aggressive barking and lunging behaviour when your dog sees another dog is working to fulfill a need in your dog.  While you are out on a walk with your dog you see a person and their dog approaching you. Your dog tenses up and immediately starts barking and growling, maybe even lunging on the end of the leash.  The other dog and person have no desire to come anywhere near you and your dog who appears scary and mean and so they turn around and walk the opposite direction.  Your dog who was afraid, provide clear signals to the other dog and person that said “go away” and the other dog and person kindly obliged and went away. Your dog’s barking and lunging behaviour, called a distance increasing behaviour was just reinforced because the other dog did indeed dog go away.

The barking, lunging behaviour is called a distance increasing behaviour because it’s function was to increase the distance between your dog and the other dog.  The barking and lunging behaviour was rewarded because it worked, the behaviour of barking and lunging was functional, it worked to make the other dog go away.  Behaviours that are rewarded, that is they provide the reinforcement (the other dog going away) that your dog wanted, will be repeated and now you have a dog who consistently lunges and barks to make other dogs go away and it works every time doesn’t it?

Enter Behaviour Adjustment Training commonly called BAT, created by talented, highly skilled trainer and behaviourist in the US, Grisha Stewart of Ahisma Dog Training. For the past 3 years I have incorporated BAT heavily into my reactive dog training classes and seen some truly tremendous results. In addition to counter conditioning (pairing good things, 100% consistently in an intensive program, with things the dog finds scary), desensitizing (working in the presence of the thing the dog finds scary at a very, very low level of intensity and only increasing the intensity incrementally so that the dog is never feeling uncomfortable and can always be successful), as well as several other techniques, BAT has truly been the icing on the proverbial, reactive cake.

BAT teaches the dog that he can do an alternative, more socially acceptable (in human terms) behaviour such as a licking of the lips, lowering the head, looking away, scratching, sniffing and obtain the same reward of increasing distance as he would with the barking, lunging behaviour. The dog learns he can do something else and get the same reward of increasing the distance between him and what scares him.  This is BAT simplified.

We are the only trainers in Calgary highly skilled in the subtleties of BAT who use the technique consistently in our reactive classes to a high degree of success.

Make no mistake, working with a reactive dog is challenging, it takes time, patience and consistency but by incorporating BAT into our classes we have seen wonderful results.  Seeing Shelby, Obi Wan, Honey, Keiko and the many other wonderful dogs and their people find peace on their daily walks where once there was fear, frustration, grief and anger at both ends of the leash has been one of the most moving experiences of my career.  Thanks so much to Grisha Stewart for bringing BAT to the people and to the dogs!

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Apr052012

What Does Socializing Your Dog Really Mean? – Dog Training Calgary

By Kirsten on April 5, 2012

For well over 10 years now I have been working with people and their dogs in the City of Calgary with everything from potty training in puppies and new adult canine additions to the family to aggression and reactivity.  In those 10 years I have seen a definite increase in the number of clients who contact me regarding fear and aggression issues with their dogs.  The other day I mentioned in a post on Facebook that having returned from a trip to the UK how inspired I was by the inclusion of the family dog in everyday life in Europe and the UK and how well mannered these dogs were.  In speaking with a well known, highly respected trainer in the UK you could come to the unscientific and unproven conclusion that there is less reactivity and fear issues in UK and European dogs than in dogs who live in North America because she just did not seem to have the same type of cases in the same degree or volume with regard to reactivity. Let’s be very clear though, this is unproven and unscientific, my own thoughts based on what I observed and heard from trainers that I spoke with.

We talk a lot about socialization in young pups and it’s importance, well actually critical nature in the development of dogs who will be welcomed and safe in our human society.  There is no doubt that this is true, but I believe we still as a society in North Amercia have not yet truly embraced this advice and worked it to our advantage for if we had we would not see the high rates of surrender, euthanasia and behaviour problems that we do in our pet dogs.  It is much, much more than 6 weeks of puppy classes and introducing our dogs to 100 people and 12 surfaces, 12 food bowls, 12 environments etc by the time the pup is 16 weeks old that we trainers so espouse to to our clients. I’m not saying not to introduce your pup to as much as you can in a safe, positive manner in the early weeks of their lives but what I am saying is that this shouldn’t be a project, it should be a lifestyle and it shouldn’t ever end.

I do realize that in this country you can’t take your dog into Safeway and you should NEVER tether your dog, unsupervised outside of retail shops but I do think we can do a better job of incorporating our dogs into our lives rather than stowing them away in our homes and backyards with the occassional romp in the off leash park.

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Apr022012

Unsupervised Access to the Outdoors – Dog Training Calgary

By Kirsten on April 2, 2012

We have all walked around our neighbourhoods and come across the dog barking and lunging madly behind the fence as we walk by or howling and barking throughout the day and/or night.

Many dogs are left outdoors, unsupervised for hours and hours on end.  People generally believe they are doing their dog a favour and want to do what is best for their dogs.  What dog wouldn’t want to be outside enjoying the day? I hear comments like “We have a big back yard where we let the dog run free whenever we leave the house!”

But the dog is not happily running laps around the yard all day, chasing birds and squirrels, just loving life. Most dogs will lie around bored while waiting for something exciting to happen, and in some cases, waiting for anything to happen.  The time spend outdoors, unsupervised can in fact contribute to “bad” behaviors that dogs display. Dogs are born with a number of instincts that people find undesirable and these instincts can develop into permanent problems when they are left unattended for long period of time in a yard or outdoor dog run.

When dogs are left for hours by themselves outside, these instincts can build up and contribute to a dog’s exhibition of numerous destructive, territorial, predatorial, aggressive, adventurous, escapist or fearful behaviors. Repeated exposure to events that your dog finds stimulating or fearful will establish behavior patterns that will actually guide how your dog will react to everything it comes in contact with, even when your dog is in your house, in your car or on a leash with you.

Other people will use dog doors that give free access to the outdoors when you’re not closely monitoring your dog can yield the same results. Even
allowing your dog to have unsupervised access to the windows in your home can have a profoundly negative influence on his behavior.  We have all seen the dogs barking and lunging at windows as we walk by as well.  I have one at the corner of my street, who almost comes through the window everytime someone walks by.  Not to mention that this dog scares the heck out of unsuspecting people, especially children and not surprisingly almost every single dog that walks by shows a reactive, barking, lunging behaviour right back.

Below are a few of the behaviours that can develop as a result of unsupervised access to outdoors:

  • Digging in the yard or garden or digging out of the yard.
  • Chewing or scratching on doors, decks, fencing, lawn furniture and vegetation.
  • Excessive barking or whining from boredom or at activities in the neighborhood.
  • Dog aggression or fence-fighting with the neighbors’ dogs.
  • Over-stimulation in chasing cats, birds,squirrels and other wildlife.
  • Aggression towards, fear of, or over-stimulation by, children, delivery people, house guests or neighbors.
  • Fireworks or thunder-fear ~ General over-stimulation ~ doorway bolting
  • Marking ~ Stool-eating ~ Fence jumping ~Housetraining problems
  • Your dog can also develop injury or illness as a result of being left outside.

In order to really understand why being outdoors alone is a problem for dogs, we need to look at what dogs do when left to themselves: They sleep, chew, bark, dig holes, chase anything that moves, and experiment with escape strategies.  Combine practicing these behaviours, which the dog will be doing day in a day out with over stimulation and you have the perfect storm for disastrous behavioral consequences, the most frequent of which is barking constantly and the development of aggression, both of which can be the direct result of constant stimulation and frustration.
You also have the very real possibility of people passing by even teasing your dog, not to mention overt cruelty on the part of mischievous people and angry neighbors.

Indoors, we can control the environment much better and see to it that our dog is not overstimulated. Overall, dogs that share both indoor and outdoor environments with people and are an active part of the family are better adjusted, they are pleasant to live with, and they stay in their home all their lives.

 

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Mar202012

Children and Dogs – Dog Training Calgary

By Kirsten on March 20, 2012

So often I will hear people say “we got the dog for the kids”.  That may be true, however while children can and should be a part of caring for the dog, they themselves cannot be entirely responsible for the dog and they must be taught how to care for the dog and supervised while doing the caring for the dog.  Any children under 12 years old (maybe older if the child is not responsible enough) should never be left unsupervised with a dog, even the lovely, well mannered family pet.  Children under 12 are too unpredictable and immature to be able to handle the dog safely and tragically the many bites are to children by the family dog.

Many times people are so shocked by the fact that their dog has bitten their child “out of the blue”, no warnings at all.  I can say that the bite did not come out of the blue.  The dog, in the only way it knows how, communicated it’s discomfort with a situation over and over again, sometimes probably for years, but no one was “listening” or maybe it’s better said that no one understood the language.

A common example is a child laying on the dog, crawling over the dog.  The dog, turns it’s head away, over and over while being hugged, crawled on.  The dog, with it’s head turned shows the white’s of it’s eyes, the white part looking like sort of looks like a crescent moon. The dog gets up, shakes itself off as if it were wet and moves away, repeatedly, the child keeps following the dog and laying on it everytime the dog lies down. Then maybe the dog growls, yet another way the dog is saying I am not comfortable with this situation.

These are all signals the dog is uncomfortable:

  • Looking away
  • White of the eyes showing
  • Shaking off
  • Moving away
  • Growling

The dog is talking to you.  In this scenario, the child should have been told not to crawl on or lay on the dog.  When a dog growls, inevitably human beings correct it.  A dog should in fact not be corrected for a growl, again the child should have been told not to lay on the dog.  If corrected enough the growl will possibly go away.  You do NOT want a growl to go away.  That is a warning signal, no different than a person raising their voice after repeatedly telling someone to perhaps stop bothering them for example.  I would rather a dog warn me so I can change the sitution, than have the dog go straight to a bite.

Bites most often come from fear, stress, anxiety, frustration.  Perhaps a toddler, just learning to walk can look very strange and frightening to a dog.  Imagine if that baby then falls on the already stressed and frightened dog. A little supervision and teaching our children how to treat and respect the dog, as well as training the dog for polite doggie manner and providing appropriate socialization to the dog, can go a long way to keeping children safe and dogs in their homes. For more information on the Dogs and Storks Program, BE A TREE program or DogGoneSafe Bite Prevention Program contact me at krose@shaw.ca

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Mar152012

Spring is in the air – Dog Training Calgary

By Kirsten on March 15, 2012

The days are turning glorious, the days are longer, the temperature is warming and we are getting outside more often, as are our dogs.  With spring fever in the air however we must not lose sight of safety, not to mention the municipal by-law when it comes to keeping our dogs leashed when outside of our homes or backyards.

Over the past 10 days I have had 4 different clients tell me stories of unleashed dogs coming at them and their leashed dogs in a frightening and uncontrolled way.  Three of these clients have suffered the traumatic ordeal of seeing their dogs physically attacked by the unleashed dogs and injured sufficiently to warrant medical treatment.

This terrifies me.  Three people have put themselves at risk in an effort to save their dogs, who were being physically attacked.  There is now the very real potential for any or all of these dogs to become fear reactive, especially on leash.  This will mean hours of training to help them overcome their fears and they may never fully recovery psychologically.

The other client did not experience a full physical attack but an unleashed dog came forcefully at her and her small pup while she went for a walk in her own neighbourhood.

4 people and 4 dogs now find their neighbourhood just a little less safe.

Whether you are working in your front yard or in your garage, you dog must be leashed and under control and absolutely on a leash while on a walk on City property, which does very much include the sidewalks in your neighbourhood.  Even if you think your dog is fine with other dogs and people, other people and dogs may not be fine with your dog. It is not fair to either animal or to unsuspecting people to have a dog launching a true physical attack on them or a chase.  Alternatively what if your unrestrained dog suddenly sees Peter Cottontail and starts a chase that ends up in front of a car in the middle of the road, or he simply wanders off while you are busy, never to be seen again.

Even though spring is in the air and we are all excited to be outdoors again, please use appropriate management with your dog, let’s keep everyone safe including your own dogs.

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Mar092012

Meeting Life in a Calm and Relaxed Manner – Dog Training Calgary

By Kirsten on March 9, 2012

Another trainer recently said this on a Yahoo Group that I belong to “Meeting Life in a Calm and Relaxed Manner”.  That really makes sense doesn’t it? Take a moment to think about this. This is the way that we expect our dogs to act everyday in every situation.  What a heavy burden for a dog to carry, especially when most human beings would struggle to meet every situation that they encounter in a calm and relaxed manner.  Nevertheless it is a good piece of advice.

It goes without saying that when you encounter another human being who is upset in some way, you cannot help but take on some of those same feelings yourself. Being in close proximity to a person who is having a bad moment can easily rub off on us. Truly, it is no different for our dogs.

Dogs are mammals and do have the same brain make up as other mammals, like human beings.  I am not saying that dogs are the same as human beings, just that we have the same brain structure and so with that dogs can experience some things in similar ways to human beings.  Dogs are a highly successful species, probably one of the most successful on earth and there is a reason why they are so successful, their collaboration with human beings.  Dogs are successful because they are highly sensitive to how human beings act and they pick up on the slightest changes in us, especially as our body language (usually subconsciously) betrays our emotional state.  Dogs are masters at reading body language.

If we expect our dogs to meet life in a calm and relaxed manner it almost goes without saying that we must do the same.  I am not envisioning a Zen like world where no one is upset, that is not realistic but it is also not realistic to expect that our dogs will always be completely well behaved (at least our definition of well behaved).  I think Toys R Us may sell a robo dog like that, but your living breathing dog will not always be doggie Zen and that’s okay.

Perhaps if you’ve had a bad day, rather than attempt to take your dog on a walk and try to train him not to pull on leash, a better choice might be to have a quiet evening at home, playing a quick game of Find It, tossing the ball a few times in the back yard and giving the dog a frozen stuff Kong to work and using the time to relax for yourself.  Your dog will be fine missing one walk as long as you keep him busy with something else to do.

The point is that in a state of upset or frustration you will not enjoy the walk with your dog who is pulling you around by the leash. It will be a real struggle to get the polite walking on leash from your dog while you are already feeling frustrated from daily life and the walk will end up being an exercise in frustration and futility for both you.

Try the walk another day when you feel more calm and have had a better day yourself.  If we expect our dogs to meet life in a calm and relaxed manner, we must do the same.

 

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Feb222012

Introducing Fido to Baby- Dog Training Calgary

By Kirsten on February 22, 2012

Bringing baby home is an exciting and happy occassion, but if you have a dog it can also be a stressful and anxious time for some new parents and for the unprepared dog. When a new mom or dad is holding their precious little bundle, suddenly in front of them all they see is teeth where they used to see their furry, brown, loveable Fido.

With preparation it need not be stressful and frightening. Fido can learn to be happy with baby and baby can be safe with Fido.  The Dogs and Storks program is a tremendous way to help new parents prepare for living safely with baby and Fido.  The main thing though is being pro-active.  Don’t leave the training and education until the last minute or after the baby is born (though certainly we can help after baby is born, but it will just be a busier time), start preparing as soon as you find out you are pregnant.

Some of the key things to work on are getting a solid sit and down with your dog, especially at a distance, as well as practicing loose leash walking and add in the stroller as well to practice with.

Start getting your dog used to you carrying a baby by carrying a baby sized doll, especially up against your shoulder, this way Fido will learn that sometimes you are carrying something which when carried in a certain way can sometimes look like you have two heads!

Also invest in a DVD or download audio files from the internet of baby sounds that you can start out playing softly in the background and slowly playing the audio louder, making sure the fun times, such as play with you or good treats or perhaps a food dispensing toys stuffed with your dog’s favourite foods come with those baby sounds.  In this way you are desensitizing your dog to the sounds and also if you add play and good treats when the audio is playing you are also making a good association with those sounds for your dog.

Supervising is paramount, your baby should never, ever be left unsupervised with your dog for any reason and remember to make absolutely sure that the baby’s bedroom door is closed when the baby is in there.  Dogs can make a mistake and most of the time that is exactly what the event is that involves a dog and a baby, just a mistake borne out of possibly excitement, fear, anxiety or stress but nonetheless still damaging, don’t take that risk, don’t place your wonderful family dog in the position of making a mistake.

Have a plan, what will Fido be doing when you are changing the baby, feeding the baby, when you want to take a shower?  The educated and supervised use of a tether at a safe distance while Fido is engaged in a yummy food filled Kong can make for a happy, stress free, safe feeding time for mom and baby that includes Fido.

Getting your dog used to his crate, so that it becomes a happy, safe place for him is another great strategy so that you can use the crate at times when you can’t supervise.  A word of caution here though, the dog should not be crated for long periods of time just to get him out of the way.  He still needs to be a part of the family and still needs mental stimulation and physical exercise.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help with your dog, just ensure that everyone knows your rules surrounding the dog so they can be consistent and make sure that they are on the same page with respect to humane training.  It is even more important for a dog to be treated humanely and with positive training when the animal will be living with children.

You can also engage the services of a dog walker or doggie daycare for some additional assistance in exercising and supervising your dog, but again, use caution with what type of methods are being used with respect to your dog and make sure you get references.  We can recommend some excellent daycares and dog walkers if you would like to look into either of these services.

We can help you set up your home, manage and train your dog and be prepared so that you, your new baby and your dog can live happily and safely.

Contact krose@shaw.ca to set up your Dogs’s and Storks private session or group seminar today.

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Feb162012

Dogs and Babies-Dog Training Calgary

By Kirsten on February 16, 2012

Tragically an infant was killed by the family dog in Airdrie last night.  There is no place here to lay blame, such a heavy price has already been paid for whatever the circumstances were that lead up to this tragedy, a child died, a family lost their child and in all likelyhood the dog will be euthanized.  I am not judging anyone in this event nor am I judging whatever the dog’s fate may be, I am just truly, deeply effected by this loss.

As of yet there are no details on what actually happened, but likely no one will ever know exactly what happened.  All we will know is something triggered the dog, the dog reacted and a child died.

From what has been said so far in the news, the family had other children and the dog was for all intents and purposes a great family pet.  To me that is what makes this situation even sadder. This was not a bad dog, a viscious animal, it was a family pet in a circumstance where it was not coping.  Dogs rarely move to a bite situation without a multitude of signals to us, but for the average family the dog’s signals are not easily read and all too often can be missed completely. A dog may show stress signals for months, even years with no resulting bites and/or other aggressive types of behaviour, it’s just that most people don’t see these signals or the signals such as a growl are corrected, so that the growl may go away but the underlying emotion has not changed, the dog is still highly uncomfortable in a situation.

I see this same scenario play out regularily, especially when it comes to dogs and children. The dog is providing signals over and over again to indicate stress and discomfort but nothing is done to change the situation for the dog.

I believe that tragedies like this can be prevented.  I believe that children and dogs can live together safely and happily.  We must learn about and understand how dogs communicate what they are feeling and work to help them out of difficult situations in addition to being pro-active about socializing our dogs right from puppyhood with respect to all aspects of the human world, in safe, consistent, humane way and preparing them for major life changes such as a new baby.  In addition we need to teach children how to be with dogs safely, to treat dogs with kindness and respect.  As adults it is our job to keep our children and dogs safe, to manage their environment and to supervise all interactions between children and dogs at all times.

There are many resources for new parents with respect to helping their dog be comfortable with a new baby and small children.

Downloadable Calming Signals Poster by Lili Chin and Dr. Sophia Yin http://doggiedrawings.net/post/842176625 This is an excellent resource for descriptions as to how your dog may look when he is experiencing various emotions.

Family Paws – Jen Shryock has developed the Dogs and Storks Program, a wonderful, comprehensive program that helps people prepare their dog for living with baby.  http://http://familypaws.com/ You can contact krose@shaw.ca for more information on this program in the Calgary area.

The Calgary Humane Society also offers a Old Pet, New Baby program http://www.calgaryhumane.ca/page.aspx?pid=309

DogGoneSafe is a wonderful resource for teaching children to be safe around dogs http://www.doggonesafe.com/

My deepest sympathy to this family.  May this never happen again.

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Feb132012

A Dog and Her Person; The Human Canine Bond

By Kirsten on February 13, 2012

Kia came into my life under duress, my duress that is.  It was not my decision to have a dog all those years ago and given my focus and attention on my career at the time, my new marriage and my goal to start a human family she did not fit into my life plans very well at all.  With little to no help from the person who had initially wanted her in our lives, I really struggled through her puppyhood and I did not understand at all why she did the things that she did.  In my humaness I was convinced she was purposely ruining my house and my life.

I took her to puppy class at a community centre in Calgary with a very experienced trainer named Mary.  Mary was, I believe on the edge of traditional and science based learning as far as training was concerned.  She encouraged the of food for reinforcing behaviours but also taught leash corrections, though thankfully the use of a choke or martingale collar was not on her agenda. Loose leash walking with Kia was a nightmare, I couldn’t stand being pulled everywhere and those leash corrections just did not work at all.  Now that I know better, I completely understand why they didn’t work, but back then I thought I was just failing to teach Kia to walk politely on leash and that Kia wasn’t very smart.

In any event, 2 things happened that changed things for Kia and I.  The first thing happened in puppy class.  I was complaining to Mary that I couldn’t get Kia to come when I called her, “what was wrong with her” I asked.  Mary very kindly said “Oh it’s not the dog dear” and then proceeded to show me how to make a recall easier for Kia to succeed at and more reinforcing when she did recall.

Seeing how Kia responded to Mary, how easy it was for Mary to encourage and reinforce a successful recall and how much Kia actually enjoyed working with Mary made me take a second look at my relationship with Kia and what I was contributing to it’s success or much of the time, it’s failure.

The second thing that happened is that my personal life took a devastating twist afterwhich, even more so than before, I was the sole caregiver for Kia.

As the days turned into weeks, months and then years Kia and I were inseparable.  She went with me everywhere, even to work. She would sit in the front seat of the car, with a seatbelt of course, when we went anywhere, completely enjoying the view and the ride.  She turned my mom, who was terrified of dogs her entire life as a result of a childhood dog attack, into a dedicated dog lover. Kia exuded joy, she was happy everywhere, all the time.  She loved to chase her ball, to walk in the park or on leash (and yes we did master that, through reinforcement of the loose leash behaviour, not punishment of the pulling behaviour).  I taught her to rollover, shake a paw, retrieve and to dance with me on cue.

I never saw her have even a little bit of a difference with another dog her entire life and she loved people, even little ones.

When I was sick or sad, Kia was with me, just there quietly being with me in a way that only a dog can be. When I was happy or excited, she was excited too and celebrated with me. She was for me a friend and a companion.   I could count on her and she could absolutely count on me.  With Kia there I never felt alone or lonely.  In a way I could never of imagined when I first met Kia, there was now a bond, a beautiful, wonderful, comfortable bond.

You would think that Kia was perfect, in that she never made a mistake, never did anything that I didn’t like, but you would be wrong.  Kia loved to bark at magpies and she was relentless about it, she really enjoyed “snacks” from the cat’s litter box and the toilet paper on the roll in the bathroom was never safe from Kia.  If I left a kitchen towel in reach or a sock anywhere to be found, she ate it.

These things made me crazy sometimes and yet still and for all there was indeed perfection in her doggyness.

When Kia was diagnosed with cancer of June 2008, it was devastating. There was absolutely no question that I was going to get her every available treatment, she was going to get well, right?  Two major surgeries and many rounds of chemo and radiation later she didn’t get well.  There were more tumours but the doctors didn’t know where they were.  That meant that they had to search to find them.  I know that Kia had no idea was was happening to her, so she couldn’t have been afraid of the treatments as I discussed our options with the medical team.  I also know that in spite of it all, she loved going to the clinic, goodness she even started to pull on her leash again in her excitement to get in the door every time we went there.  She loved her doctors and the vet tech, she basked in their affection and the treats that they gave her and I loved to watch her enjoying it.  She never showed the stress and anxiety that one would expect from most dogs going into a vet hospital, as long as I was with her.

But when it came time for her to go for her treatments and we had to be apart, she struggled, whined and cried.  There was a pivotal moment when she was going for a treatment and when she looked back at me struggling and afraid I knew that this was not where we were meant to be.  In that moment it was no longer if I could do more for her medically, but if I should.  And so we stopped, she never took that treatment, there were no more surgeries.

Kia only lived a few more months after that when in another pivotal moment I knew that it was time for her journey here with me, to end.  I miss her every single day. I mourn her loss deeply but I am so incredibly grateful to have known her, to have had this wonderful creature in my life. What a gift I was given in her friendship.  What a wonder, the human-canine bond.

Kia 13/02/09- I cried when you passed away. I still cry today. Although I loved you dearly, I couldn’t make you stay. A golden heart stopped beating, little paws at rest. The Gods broke my heart this day to prove to me They only take the best.  ♥ ♥

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